Requiem for a Cherry
I thought this was worth reposting while the nip/tuck traffic was at it's peak
Here's the scene so far. Cherry comes outta the grave, whacks the Nazi dad, and then shoots him in the stomach leaving him for dead w/ Matt.
(GUNSHOT!!!)
Cherry: Hey Matt
Matt: Yea Cher Cher?
Cherry: Will you drop me at the free clinic? I sprained my taint and I think I need a band-aid and some detangler.
Matt: Sure. But if we go to Rite-Aid, we can grab some Shout Wipes so we can get all this Nazi blood off of us.
(CHERRY GRIMACES)
Matt: What's wrong Cher?
Cherry: I got some dirt in my special new lady parts. It's like i'm at the beach but there's nary a boogie board in sight.
Matt: I'm sorry for putting shovels of dirt on you (and your gorgeous face you alluring transgendered gem)
Cherry: It's ok. I really thought you were gonna whack him with the shovel. A woman's work is never done.
Matt: Just because you don't have a dick doesn't make you a woman.
Cherry: Bitch just cause I don't have a dick no more, does not mean I can't pee on you again.
Matt: Sorry Cherry. You're right.
Cherry: Let's get a $6 Carl's Junior burger.
Matt: OK. But I left my wallet in the basement that we got tortured in. Hey Cherry... Since when are there basements in Florida?
Cherry: I'm pretty, not smart. Where's my burger?
....and scene.
Here's the scene so far. Cherry comes outta the grave, whacks the Nazi dad, and then shoots him in the stomach leaving him for dead w/ Matt.
(GUNSHOT!!!)
Cherry: Hey Matt
Matt: Yea Cher Cher?
Cherry: Will you drop me at the free clinic? I sprained my taint and I think I need a band-aid and some detangler.
Matt: Sure. But if we go to Rite-Aid, we can grab some Shout Wipes so we can get all this Nazi blood off of us.
(CHERRY GRIMACES)
Matt: What's wrong Cher?
Cherry: I got some dirt in my special new lady parts. It's like i'm at the beach but there's nary a boogie board in sight.
Matt: I'm sorry for putting shovels of dirt on you (and your gorgeous face you alluring transgendered gem)
Cherry: It's ok. I really thought you were gonna whack him with the shovel. A woman's work is never done.
Matt: Just because you don't have a dick doesn't make you a woman.
Cherry: Bitch just cause I don't have a dick no more, does not mean I can't pee on you again.
Matt: Sorry Cherry. You're right.
Cherry: Let's get a $6 Carl's Junior burger.
Matt: OK. But I left my wallet in the basement that we got tortured in. Hey Cherry... Since when are there basements in Florida?
Cherry: I'm pretty, not smart. Where's my burger?
....and scene.
posted by willam at 10:32 PM
6 Comments:
"Cut and print!"
I hope and pray that somehow you end up returning - Cherry was such a great character and to not resolve or find out what happened to her would really suck.
awwww.
Encore! Encore!
brilliant!!!
Ha... that was great.
I agree with the first comment. I would love to know what happen to her. Kind of sucks that they just leave us hanging.
GOD DAMN IT, WILLAM.
...you made me snort....that is SO unattractive. I read this when you wrote it and I laughed out loud then. You'd THINK I'd have that crap out of my system. Fuck, I mean how am I supposed to keep up this whole 'Cool-but-Mysterious', smexy lady thing goin' if I'm proving I'm an idiot everytime you say something funny. Fuckin' cut it out.....
...ladies just shouldn't snort.....SO wrong...
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